Always check your info. I was wrong about ‘Con Air’ being directed by Michael Bay. It was actually Simon West. I like ‘The Rock’ okay. It’s funny, those movies were released within one year of one another. ‘Armageddon’ is also pretty good. Anyway, I thought I’d fix my mistake.
Beware, I have given away some of the plot, so this is my spoiler alert.
Now, you can expect this to be negative because besides Con-Air, I basically despise Michael Bay. I also don’t really know anything about what makes up the anatomy of an Autobot or Decepticon, and that lack of knowledge is where most of my questions stem from. Let me first say that this movie was far too long. Let’s compare it with something like The Dark Knight, which was just two minutes longer, but packed with essential plot action, some of Hollywood’s greatest actors, and tastefully placed explosions. The whole final battle in Egypt could have been completed in half the time. I mean come on, it was a predictable ending. There is no way Sam was really going to die, no way Optimus Prime would have remained ‘dead,’ and no way the Decepticons wouldn’t have been ‘defeated.’ Why drag it out? And honestly, Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson just don’t stack up to Christian Bale, Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart, not to mention Gary Oldman, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. The action was also just so much more intelligent.
I suppose these robot aliens have fluids due to the green slime that was always flying from orifices, but do they have anatomies like our own? With brains and hearts? It’s true that they are obviously humanoid, but what are the inner workings? Because I thought it pretty funny that the ways in which the robots killed one another was like any very gruesome human killing: tearing heads apart, punching through chests, ripping out spines (although I don’t think I’ve ever seen that one before). The point I’m making is that that really ‘badass’ kills, the best kills, were made by attacking what would be vital parts of the human body, and I thought that to be strange, especially since they are supposed to be an advanced race, or at least more advanced than humans.
I think the most enjoyable part of the movie was the audience response. Exclamations at the appearance of Megan Fox, “No!” at the death of Optimus Prime, “Bitch!” after one of Leo’s freakouts. Kind of like the guy who said, “She really likes him…” during The Hangover (before they leave Vegas, Stu and Jade). All in all, I suppose it could be called an interesting experience.